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Question: Do i need to send a shower gift if i'm not going to the wedding shower?

(Posted by: on 2008-04-18 04:54:26)

Because of medical reasons (a super bad back that can't withstand a long car ride), I can't attend a friend's wedding shower. What's the etiquette here? Do I still need to send a gift to act as a shower gift (which I wouldn't mind), or do I just wait and give a gift at the wedding? Seems that if I don't send one, she's missing out on an extra gift. Advice?

Posted by: Starrica Mai Yamamoto on 2008-04-18, 05:02:06

Well...you are a friend, honestly, it's your call. Personally, I would send a gift for both occasions. I would send her something girly and kinda on the cheap side (under $ 30) for her shower gift (like a Victoria Secret bra or thong set) or sexy edible body souffle for the wedding night). And I would buy a more high priced gift (under $ 80) for the wedding gift like a porcelain plate set.

Posted by: bee j on 2008-04-18, 05:02:23

I guess it just depends on how close of a friend she is.

Posted by: EvilWoman0913 on 2008-04-18, 05:09:52

Giving a shower gift AND a wedding gift isn't necessary, so do whatever is most convenient for you. Your bad back may make it uncomfortable to carry a gift to the wedding, so mailing or sending something to the shower with a friend/ relative may be more convenient.

Posted by: 2Westies on 2008-04-18, 05:11:03

I would, especially if it's a good friend or family member. If you can't get out go on line and order something small from her bridal registry and have it sent on.

Posted by: Kay on 2008-04-18, 05:14:25

Give her a call and explain why you can't attend then send her a gift--maybe even a gift card from one of the stores where she and her husband to be are registered...I'm sure she'll understand.

Posted by: Latasha S on 2008-04-18, 06:05:38

You're not required to do both. You can, if you do, I would make the shower gift less expensive. She is missing out on a more personal gift, but those that do the shower...do not have to do the wedding (gift that is)

Posted by: livelyblueswimmer on 2008-04-18, 06:23:02

Give her the wedding gift, whatever you choose, and when she is back from honeymoon send her flowers with a note that because you could not attend her shower, you thought she might like to enjoy these flowers instead of yet another potato masher.....kitchen teas are a waste of space anyway!