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Question: How do i word a wedding shower invitation when i am asking that the guests pay for their own food?

(Posted by: Burned on 2007-09-20 13:11:37)

I am throwing a wedding shower for a friend of mine that will have us at a restaurant. We have about 25 people coming and there is NO WAY I can afford to pay for everyone's food. How can I word the invite so as not to offend?

Posted by: james h on 2007-09-20, 13:20:07

Make it clear to everyone. Don't mess about with fancy wording.

Posted by: Femme Fatale on 2007-09-20, 13:21:09

Ok let me begin by saying that i signed in just to answer ur question i think if u cant affrd it then dont do the restaurant i think its totally disrespectful i would hate it if someone did it to me no matter how pretty it sounds pay for ur food to me is just a big no.. how about cooking urself there are many easy recipes, some type of rice or something rice grows and its cheaper im sorry but i just would be pissed

Posted by: me on 2007-09-20, 13:21:33

If they friends of the bride.. they should all chip in and pay for her.... you should find a place.. see how much it would be... and divide the bill ... everyone should pay for the bride and themselves..... hope this helped.... byebye

Posted by: Devan E on 2007-09-20, 13:21:55

-Food is not included -You will be responsible for your own bill Hope this helps!

Posted by: rdwheip on 2007-09-20, 13:22:17

Your invited to a wedding shower held at such and such would love everyone to join please bring own funds for food come join the festivaties

Posted by: Monique C on 2007-09-20, 13:24:14

Just keep the regular wording but include at the bottom ''Guests responsible for their meals and beverages''.

Posted by: anners on 2007-09-20, 13:25:19

Well if you're throwing the shower, you need to pay for it. if the restaurant is too expensive, ask a friend or two to go in on the shower with you. or, have the shower at your house or her house. honestly, it's in poor taste to ask the guests to come to the party with a gift and pay their own way too.

Posted by: judith11center on 2007-09-20, 13:34:50

If this is the situation then you cannot serve a meal at this wedding shower. Just have tea, coffee, and desserts. There is no way I would go to a shower for anyone if I had to pay for my own food. If you cannot afford it maybe you can ask some friends or some of her family to help contribute to the occasion.

Posted by: squeaky on 2007-09-20, 13:39:18

I have to agree with anners... and femme fatale. I think it in very bad taste to "throw " the shower but make the guests pay for their own food. What if you were throwing the shower at your home and having catered food brought in? Would you ask the guests to leave a check on the table? I think not! If you cannot afford to pay for the guests dinner, you cannot afford to hold the shower in this restaraunt. I suggest you have it in your home and prepare appetizers yourself. You may get other answers you like better.. and you can choose to do, in the end, whatever you like... but you did ask and if you choose to go ahead with the idea of having the guests pay for themselves... be prepared for resentment, disappointment or hurt feelings and some possible no-shows. .

Posted by: SMS on 2007-09-20, 13:46:11

How about you not have a party at a fancy restaurant if you can't afford it? That's rude and inconciderate. When you throw a birthday party and provide pizza, do you expect people to pay you for it later? It's just a wedding shower--have it at someone's house, maybe in the backyard, with cake or something you can cook or barbeque on the patio or something. Making people pay is a sure way to make sure that 5 people show up!

Posted by: cindylouwho38 on 2007-09-20, 13:53:58

The only acceptable way to make the guests pay for their own food is to have it at a private location and make it a potluck. For those who gave me a thumbs down (I assume for being cheap), I'd like to add that my entire wedding and honeymoon came to less than $1000. Poor people like to get married too, you know.

Posted by: Wide Awake on 2007-09-20, 13:54:13

You don't use the word "host " or "hosting " as that would imply that someone is paying. You say something like, "We are getting together at [xyz place] and reserving tables for everyone to order their own food and participate in the fun! " This makes it clear that you are just reserving the space, that's all. You may want to consider getting some appetizers at least, which shouldn't be too expensive, so that the attendees get at least SOMETHING paid for, considering their time and expense. Good luck! Have fun!

Posted by: kitkat on 2007-09-20, 14:52:43

I'd say just change the venue, and have it at your house or something. i think its rude to have it at a restaurant and expect people to pay in addition to the gift

Posted by: JenV on 2007-09-20, 14:58:40

Do you have reservations with the restaurant, and do those reservations require that those attending the party order food? If so, this may be a poor planning choice, if it's not affordable. There's no requirement that a meal be provided with a shower, so another time and another venue may have been a better choice. If it's still possible to re-plan, it might be better to do so. If there's no requirement or minimum that has to be ordered in order to hold your reservations at the restaurant, I would determine what I could pay for (appetizers for all, or desserts for all, or something of that nature). Don't offer to buy drinks for all, even if you provide a limited amount, people will expect you to continue paying for more and this will soon run you up a tab even higher than the food bill or will cause hard feelings. Then, on the invitation, let people know what you DO plan to provide for the party, and then let them know they are welcome to join you for a meal as well. Wording could be as follows. "The shower will be held at X Restauraunt and appetizers will be provided. Feel free to join us for (lunch/ dinner) afterward at your own expense. Menu prices begin at ($X). " or "The shower will be at (TIME) at X Restaurant, with desserts provided. We'll be having a dutch-treat meal before the shower from X to X time, feel free to join us. Menu prices begin at $X. "

Posted by: kill_yr_television on 2007-09-20, 15:10:40

There is no way to do this because it simply isn't done. If you can't afford to give a party, then you don't give the party. Honestly, if you can't manage to make a few gallons of lemonade and set out some cheese and crackers then you should just forget the whole thing.

Posted by: wyomugs on 2007-09-20, 15:40:36

"I would like to invite you to a pay-your-way wedding shower. I am poorer than a church mouse, and know that you can cough up the money that I'm supposed to. Oh, and don't forget that you are still expected to bring a gift as usual , too. Have a great day! " Cynical? Maybe so.... but if you cannot find a way to finance the costs, don't hold the event! You don't want to be seen as being rude when all these people are going to see/ interpret in your invitation is EXACTLY what I wrote above... and don't you think they're going to view you as rude anyway? To word the invitation to NOT offend is this: "You are cordially invited to attend Maryjane Brown's wedding shower at the All-You-Can-Eat Eatery at 7:00pm on the 25th of September, 2007. " That's it. Have a polite day.

Posted by: berry on 2007-09-20, 17:42:33

You are invited to a Dutch Wedding Shower. (That means you pay for your own food).