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Question: Is it appropriate to give a co-worker a wedding shower not knowing if co-workers r invited to the wedding?

(Posted by: queenbrb on 2007-07-12 16:57:45)

Our office is planning to throw a surprise groom wedding shower for our male co- worker. is it appropriate to invite co- workers from the company the groom is aquainted with not knowing if they are inviting any of the co- workers to the wedding? will we be putting pressure on the couple to invite co- workers to their wedding?

Posted by: Pepper on 2007-07-16, 16:40:10

Sure...its very appropriate. If those that are invited decide not to attend the work shower then thats fine. You can put that in the email invite. No pressure to buy, your doing to celebrate her wedding, not for gifts per say!

Posted by: Lizzie on 2007-07-12, 17:03:17

I will answer from my experience. I have been at wedding showers for co-workers and have not been invited to their weddings. I understood this before I attended the showers. It was o.k. with me. If the co-workers understand that they many not be invited, this will give them a chance to say 'yay' or 'nay' to the shower invitations. Miss Manners may think otherwise. But, since it's informal and optional to attend, it doesn't seem like a big deal. Hopefully, the groom's co-workers will see it the same way.

Posted by: kdc1018 on 2007-07-12, 17:54:30

I think many people nowadays understand that it is not possible to invite everyone you know to your wedding. I have participated in many "at-work wedding showers " even though my co-worker was not able to invite all of us to her wedding (we're having one next Wednesday, as a matter of fact!) Financial constraints do not stop co-workers and other acquaintances from wishing the happy couple well! I don't think it puts pressure on the couple to invite extra guests, either. The co-workers are choosing to hold this celebration, knowing that they are not an invited guest to the actual event. At my job, we generally do this by taking up an optional collection for a gift or gift card, then setting up a pot-luck lunch, or in this case dessert, celebration. I've found that none of my co-workers object or abstain, even though often none of us are guests at the actual wedding. We just enjoy supporting each other and showing our happiness for them.

Posted by: Patti C on 2007-07-12, 20:58:23

I probably would go ahead with the shower even without knowing if his co-workers are to be invited. After all, none of us know for sure when we go to a shower if we really are going to be invited to the wedding.

Posted by: berry on 2007-07-13, 00:09:09

Yeah, it's best not to get involved. You might put the groom in a difficult position if he can't invite co-workers......due to financial constraints etc, whatever...